Brainwashing, catfishing and parenting on the Internet.

It is the middle of the first week of GCSEs for most 16 year olds. I've been transported back to both1999, when I sat my GSCEs, and 2010 when my firstborn arrived. It does not feel like a different chapter, it feels like a different book.

With all the focus suddenly on grades, I have awarded myself an 'alright' score in educating my kids about the power and pit falls of the internet, upon which all our computers now thrive. Obviously, every day is school day when it comes the internet, but I hope I have instilled in mine sufficient knowhow so that they are not openly vulnerable to being brainwashed and or sextorted online.

I hope we have raised them with reasonably high standards of how to be a good citizen on the world wide web and not a total knobhead. We have different opinions on what constitutes a good citizen and what defines a knobhead. But as they say, its generational. They would happily have us deleted and banned from all socials. Equally I think that their generation sharing blurred snapshots of nothing to achieve a streak is just an underwhelming waste of energy for both the sender and the recipient.

Whilst my husband leans into technical role of setting up devices securely and approving the download of apps, I have assumed the role of knowing what the apps actually do. In this blog I share what I've learned.

My boys roll their eyes at the mere mention of phone etiquette and behaviour online because they know every conversation will end up feeling like a lecture. That said, they do appreciate that their algorithm maps their minds and serves them more of what they will click. The table has tuned on me. They now express concern for my wellbeing. 'Mum I'm worried about your For You page'. They know that I receive higher than average news coverage of missing children; I never miss a story about a stabbing, a ketamine demise or a fatal drug overdose! Deep in the neural networks of the computer the newsfeed knows how to deliver a list of click worthy posts that can shift me from a relaxed to highly anxious state in seconds. I wish I could watch hours of football, golf and snooker. I'm just not wired that way. Lesson one, the internet serves you more of what you dwell on. Particularly worrying if you have any kind of body dysmorphia or low self esteem.

With society finally accepting that there is an issue with young minds having smartphone access to the web the all-day-long I do feel cheated. I have ruined my children's childhoods (their words not mine ) battling for them to be ready for the latest platform. They have always been the last in class to download the latest must have app. I get why the platforms are addictive. These are communication tools where you meet up with your friends. If you've got a message to send, why would you text when you can do a video message with your face super imposed into fun video. Listen if I want a fast response from my kids, a snap works best.

Snapchat can be the most fun. My advice is don't say yes to all apps only to the ones you know how they work.

The darkest side to Snapchat for me is that your bestie might have more streaks with the kid they live next door to. This means Snapchat will rank you lower in their friend list. This is effectively a friendship leader-board where inferior connection and noise counts. Many children are falling into a false sense of insecurities at an age where friendships are forming and failing fast. Online connection is cool and it is never going away so everyone needs support communicating online. You will need time to understand how these apps work and you have to keep checking in with new features. It is exhausting you will always be behind the curve, last to know what your kids has been using for months.

The biggest lesson; who do you trust? The age old advice don't accept sweets off a stranger should now be don't accept friend requests off people you can't authenticate are really who they say they are. I have talked to mine early about the metal health impact on the kid who shared a tit pic only to find out it wasn't their new online boyfriend but a fellow student in their class who shared the picture around the school. By the age of13 they will have seen first hand the impact of this to people in their school. My advice is start these conversations young. The best way to authenticate a friendship is in-person and encourage them to share their concerns about what they see on the internet. Mine reveal much more in groups discussion with their friends than privately where it is like getting blood from a stone.

The attention economy has been promoting sharing and content creation as way of bringing your products to market and making a living. Apps have been indoctrinating our children to share from an early age. Dressed up as a sharing challenges , snap streaks or badges, everyone is encouraged to share so that these platforms can profile us. I've learned the hard way that me dressing up as an elf to share Excel hints and tips might entertain and grow my followers, it even got me a few training gigs but it has embarrassed my kids no end. Know this, their mates will Google parents. They will even create fake accounts on uncool apps like Facebook to get images they can modify. There is nothing funnier than making stickers of your mates parents. If your child has not had a sticker or AI video made with your biometrics, there is a high chance that your child is being socially excluded. If you have had late night calls with other parents about the regrettable decisions taken by your child and their friends where an inappropriate meme has accidently gone viral you are not alone! This is an entirely normal part of modern-day parenting that other generations could not comprehend.

God bless the internet.

Do you want to know how ChatGPT got hold of my biometrics? My friends made an action figure of me. I was chuffed until they said this wasn't version one.

Jenx